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Office Seance

Office Seance

Why call and disturb a former or sick colleague when you can round up a group of colleagues and conduct a seance to reach their working spirit?


The Departed Colleague Seance is undertaken to contact the spirit of a former colleague. While this colleague is most likely still alive and has moved on to greener pastures and you don’t want to call them and have to admit you’re still working here, you may instead summon their working spirit you do need to know what they did with something like that one file from ’98 or the name of the shippers they used to get that package to Tangiers overnight.

Location: As close to their former workspace as possible (we have also been very pleased with the response rate when the chosen location was near their favorite bathroom facility with the specific toilet kept in mind)

Articles needed: Item(s) the departed colleague would have normally worked with. For example: headset, calculator, copier, fax, computer, etc.

What to do: Gather at least 3 other colleagues that knew him/her and form a circle. Hold hands and begin chanting or humming something rhythmic, like the sound of a photocopier (Uhm mum chi cho). Once you have all gotten the rhythm down all of you should begin picturing his/her face in your minds and all should begin asking aloud whatever it is that you wanted to know. Within a few minutes of doing this it is almost guaranteed that one of you will make contact and get the information or, this is much more likely, someone in the general vicinity will make contact without knowing and provide you with the information you were requesting. We don’t know how it works, but it is almost always the person that you knew had it/knew it all along that and of whom you had asked before and had received either a no or no response. Somehow these are almost always the people who make contact when a seance is near. Incredible!!

The Absent Colleague Seance is undertaken to contact the spirit of a sick or vacationing colleague that you would love to disturb, but for some reason do not want to be disturbed and are, thus, unreachable. This has happened to us all and we would love to know where they put the staple remover you let them “borrow” yesterday or the keys to the filing cabinet that they were supposed to return.

Location: At or as near their workspace as possible.

Articles needed: Something that the touched on day before they went on vacation or became sick. For example: chair, keyboard/mouse, phone, coffee cup, etc

What to do: Gather around their desk and chant something. Unfortunately this seance is rarely successful so we just suggest that you look for whatever it was or just trash the desk and/or take something hostage. If you are really upset with them, visit Office Diversions' pranks section here.

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