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The Blonde Glossary Of Medical Terms


  • Acute: Opposite of an ugly.

  • Adenoid: Domino's Pizza character.

  • Advil: Used to hammer things on.

  • AIDS: Helpers or Assistants. Anally Occurring yearly.

  • Aphrodisiac: An African disc jockey.

  • Artery: Study of fine paintings.

  • Aspirin: Having great ambitions.

  • Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria.

  • Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails.

  • Benign: What you are after you be eight.

  • Blood: A type of Gang.

  • Bowel: A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.

  • Bruise: A six-pack.

  • Cesarean Section: A district in Rome.

  • Capsule: A space ship.

  • Catheter: String instruments.

  • Cat Scan: Searching for kitty.

  • Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.

  • Clitoris: A type of flower.

  • Colic: A sheep dog.

  • Coma: A punctuation mark.

  • Condom: Apartment complex.

  • Congenital: Friendly.

  • Concussion: A prisoner's sofa pillow.

  • Constipation: An important U.S. document.

  • D&C: Where Washington is.

  • Diaphragm: A drawing in geometry.

  • Diarrhea: Journal of daily events.

  • Dilate: To live long.

  • Dildo: Variety of sweet pickle.

  • Douche: Italian word for "12."

  • Enema: Not a friend.

  • Erection: When the Japanese vote.

  • Femur: Not a Male.

  • Fester: Quicker.

  • Fibula: Small lie.

  • Fracture: A number less than one.

  • Genital: Non-Jewish.

  • G.I. Series: Baseball series for soldiers.

  • Grippe: Suit case.

  • Hair: Rodent with long ears.

  • Hangnail: Coat hook.

  • Heart: Bow & Arrow target.

  • High Colonic: Jewish religious holiday.

  • Hospital: An unknown person ejecting saliva.

  • Immune: Congressional perk.

  • Impotent: Distinguished; well known.

  • Infection: Russians coming to the U.S.

  • Intense pain: Torture in a teepee.

  • Intestines: Beta version of forks.

  • Jaundice: To include in a group.

  • Jaw: A shark without as much teeth.

  • Joint: A location or place.

  • Kinesthetics: A relationship towards relatives.

  • Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.

  • Laceration: Dainty material allotment.

  • Leper: A wild cat.

  • Lesbian: Person from the Middle East.

  • Lesion: A unit of Roman Army.

  • Loin: Not fat.

  • Lymph: A special Fairy.

  • Lymph Node: Where special Fairy lives.

  • Major Operation: A job for the Major.

  • Malaria: Several shopping Stores.

  • Mammogram: A telegram to Mom.

  • Manic Depressive: A man pressed down to the floor.

  • Medical Staff: Doctor's cane.

  • Medicare: A partial care.

  • Meningitis: Getting a Man.

  • Menstrual cycle: Bloody vehicle for men.

  • Menstruation: Male Model display.

  • Midwife: Second wife in three marriages.

  • Migraine: Not your wheat.

  • Minor Operation: Coal digging.

  • Miscarriage: Firing a Rifle and missing a target.

  • Morbid: Higher offer.

  • Mucus: Not quite in focus.

  • Nitrate: Cheaper than a day rate.

  • Node: Was aware of.

  • Organic: Musical.

  • Orgasm: Person who accompanies the church choir.

  • Outpatient: Person who has fainted.

  • Ovaries: French egg dish made with cheese.

  • Papsmear: Fatherhood

  • Tablet: A small table.

  • Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.

  • Testicles: Sucking sacks found on an octopus.

  • Tibia: Country in North Africa.

  • Tumor: More than one.

  • Ultrasound: A loud noise.

  • Umbilical Cord: Part of a parachute.

  • Urine: Opposite of "You're Out."

  • Vagina: Heart trouble.

  • Varicose: Near by.

  • Varicose Veins: Veins very close to each other.

  • Vein: Conceited.

  • Weak: Seven days.

  • Zit: Dog Command.

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