You are here

Original Message from ODD Office - Part 2

How was the meeting, Tomm?

 

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 07:23
To: vicky@oddoffice.com
Subject: Urgent question!!

Dear Vicky,

I was wondering if any of you down in reception know what time Maureen left yesterday and what time she usually comes in.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: vicky@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 07:34
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: Urgent question!!

Tomm,
I leave at exactly 5 PM everyday and she hadn't left by then, but you may want to ask Marcus the Systems Administrator since he and his gang of geeks tend to stay around late and play computer games on Mondays.
Maureen usually comes in around 9-9:30.
Vicky

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 07:37
To: marcus@oddoffice.com
Subject: put down the joystick

Dear Marcus,

While you were sitting around playing computer games last night did you happen to know what time Maureen left last night?

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: marcus@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 07:42
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: put down the joystick

Tom,
If all you think we sys admins do is “sitting around playing computer games” you are sadly mistaken. As a matter of fact I was installing some secret software on behalf of your boss, Maureen. So you had better watch it. And no I don't know when she left.
Marcus
P.S. Go stuff your quality and satisfaction!!

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 07:52
To: tonya@oddoffice.com
Subject: I have a job for you

Dear Tonya,

I have placed a copy of the September numbers with a copy of the August report (for you to grasp the layout) in your pigeon hole. I will need the report finished asap (that means as soon as possible - in case you weren't sure, being an intern and all). It usually takes me a day or two, but expect to be close to my speed.

I'll be in a HRMTCSG Meeting this morning, but will swing by afterwards to check your progress.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 08:03
To: sherry@oddoffice.com
Subject: good morning

Dear Sherry,

I heard you rustling some papers out there so that's how I knew you were in (no hidden voyeur camera or anything like that). I don't want to be anal, but you probe around a bit and find out what HRMTCSG stands for. Thanks

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: sherry@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 08:05
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: good morning

Tomm,
HRMTCSG = Human Resources Management and Training Committee Steering Group
You were the one who came up with that nifty one.
Sherry

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 08:11
To: qsagteam@oddoffice.com
Cc: darryl@oddoffice.com
Subject: Another wonderful day for the QSAG team

Dear Quality and Satisfaction Assurance Group Team (QSAG),

First of all, good morning!!!

I just wanted to let you know that I will be attending the HRMTCSG Meeting this morning in place of Maureen so I won't be available for the next few hours. Yesterday was incredibly busy for me with numerous QSAG issues to attend to and I was not able to come around and see how all of you have settled in, but I will do so this afternoon.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

P.S. For those of you who have not been paying attention, HRMTCSG stands for Human Resources Management and Training Committee Steering Group.

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:24
To: qsagteam@oddoffice.com
Cc: darryl@oddoffice.com
Subject: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Dear Quality and Satisfaction Assurance Group Team (QSAG),

I just wanted to inform you what a success the HRMTCSG Meeting was this morning. Our team has been asked to complete daily surveys for the next 2 months in order for the HRMTCSG to evaluate needs of the staff. Additionally we have the honor of interviewing at least 5 colleagues over the next month as to what their HR management and training needs are. This is quite a distinction for our new unit to have the confidence in our team to undertake this important task.

Questionnaires will be placed in your pigeon holes after lunch.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: alex@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:27
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Tomm,
You're joking, right? Where am I going to find the time to do this additional stuff? There is no way!!
Alex

-----Original Message-----
From: jill@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:28
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Tomm,
You need to tell them they can do their own surveys and not dump additional work on us. This is completely wrong and I am calling my union rep since this is so not a part of my job description.
Jill

-----Original Message-----
From: darryl@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:33
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Tom,
Do not expect me to take part in this charade!
Darryl

-----Original Message-----
From: trevor@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:42
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

tomm,
everyone is stirred-up over this one. you better stay holed-up in your office for awhile.
trevor

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:46
To: trevor@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Dear Trevor,

Thanks for the warning. One question, though . . . why don't you capitalize in your emails?

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: trevor@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:52
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

tomm,
it's part of my psuedo-quasi e e cummings phase. how's your tie, by the way?
trevor

-----Original Message-----
From: maureen@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 11:55
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: What have you done?

Tomm,
I came looking for you this morning, but you were still in the meeting. Luckily I happened to meet the intern that was finishing the report. May I ask what an intern was doing with the report? I must say, however, that this is the most insightful and well written report I have received from you in a number of years. Concise and to the point, so good work!
Now for my more pressing question, I understand from a conversation I just had with Paul over in Special Projects that you volunteered your team to undertake every activity that was tabled. When will they find the time for this and didn't I tell you to just sit there?
Please clarify.
Maureen

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 12:08
To: maureen@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: What have you done?

Dear Maureen,

Tonya was just downloading it from the disk I found at home and proofreading my work.

As for the HRMTCSG Meeting, the QSAG team are up for any number of challenges, which we all see instead as opportunities, of course. If you are worried about how this will effect my workload, have no fear since I made it clear to the HRMTCSG that I would not be involved in this since my time would be better spent motivating the QSAG team to complete their questionnaires and daily evaluations.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: maureen@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 12:26
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: What have you done?

Tomm,
If you volunteered your team for these evaluations and interviews, I expect you to participate yourself. Management is about setting an example.
Maureen

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 12:37
To: paul@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: What have you done?

Dear Paul,

It looks like Maureen is not too pleased about the staff doing the questionnaires and interviews, so I will have to take by idea of having my staff perform this operation. Sorry about this since we were all very enthusiastic to proceed (none more than myself), but other priorities will have to dictate our focus of energies.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: maureen@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 12:58
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: What have you done?

Tomm,
I have just gotten off the phone with a very irritated Paul. We have come to the decision that the QSAG Team will be exempted from the daily questionnaires and interviews, but that you will undertake these since, as Paul put it, you seemed very enthusiastic to do this.
Maureen

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 13:14
To: qsagteam@oddoffice.com
Cc: darryl@oddoffice.com
Subject: Update on the HRMTCSG Meeting

Dear Quality and Satisfaction Assurance Group Team (QSAG),

I want to update you about latest thing I have done on your behalf relating to that horribly time consuming evaluation and interviews the HRMTCSG dumped on us this morning. I have spent the morning arguing with senior management about your issues and you all have been exempted from this so long as I continue to fill these time wasters out. I believe that since this is in all of our interest and that management is also about setting an example I would appreciate all of your input and assistance.

Yours in quality and satisfaction,

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 13:40
To: trevor@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Dear Trevor,

Who is E. Cumming, some pornstar?

As for the tie, I tried to wa shit but only some of the peanut butter came off.

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: trevor@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 14:12
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

tomm,
Edward Estlin Cummings (October 14, 1894 - September 3, 1962) was known for the typographic innovation of his poems. you should try the dry cleaners where my wife's cousin' neighbor works. they do pretty good work.
trevor

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 14:35
To: trevor@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Results of the HRMTCSG Meeting

Dear Trevor,

I don't feel too good about that place since there is so much construction down there with the erection of that new doggie styling and pet care store. The last time I went there the dust was so thick coming out that I almost knocked some jerk off a ladder and then he cursed at me.

I'll think about it if you can get me a discount, since they're in your family.

Tomm

-----Original Message-----
From: marcus@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 16:10
To: maureen@oddoffice.com
Cc: qsagteam@oddoffice.com; darryl@oddoffice.com
Subject: Results from the new porn scan software

Maureen,

Senior management purchased a limited license on porn scan software to test 10 users company-wide for 24 hours. The results are for the 10 users in the QSAG team that were the guinea pigs and we have some interesting results from this secret trial. Of the 10, only Tom had hits and those scans revealed he used the following off limit words and combinations today in 3 separate emails (not for sensitive people):

Email 1
- voyeur camera
- anal
- probe

Email 2
- cumming
- pornstar
- shit

Email 3
- erection
- doggie styling
- jerk off

It seems to me that this software may be of use but a license for ten may be overkill, since it appears there is only one culprit to keep an eye on.
Best,
Marcus

-----Original Message-----
From: jill@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 16:14
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: FW: Results from the new porn scan software

PERVERT!! I always knew there was some wrong with you.

-----Original Message-----
From: darryl@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 16:15
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: FW: Results from the new porn scan software

busted!!

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 16:18
To: marcus@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: Results from the new porn scan software

Marcus,
Why did you have to send that to the whole team?!
Tomm (note the spelling)

-----Original Message-----
From: tomm@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 16:23
To: marcus@oddoffice.com
Subject: RE: RE: Results from the new porn scan software

Tom (note that I don't care about the spelling),
I guess I was too busy “sitting around playing computer games” to notice. Ha Ha
Marcus

-----Original Message-----
From: maureen@oddoffice.com
Sent: October 14, 2003 16:35
To: tomm@oddoffice.com
Subject: FW: Results from the new porn scan software

Tomm,
Could I see you in my office asap (you do know what that stands for, right)?
Maureen

Theme by Danetsoft and Danang Probo Sayekti inspired by Maksimer